Lunch with the Boss: Why It Matters More Than You Think
As a young professional in accounting, it’s easy to think of lunch with your boss as just a break from the grind. A quick chance to step away from the desk, grab a bite, and chat casually, right? Well, yes and no. I remember my first lunch with my boss early in my career — it was a simple, seemingly unimportant interaction. But as we sat there, I learned something surprising: not only did I get a glimpse of his personality outside of the office, but I also learned that he had just bought a house. That conversation, over something as mundane as lunch, shifted my perspective on him and on how professional relationships are built.
In reality, these "casual" lunch moments can have a huge impact on your career. They're an opportunity to build rapport, connect on a deeper level, and show leadership qualities that go beyond your technical skills. But for many new professionals, especially those coming into the workforce after the pandemic, lunch with the boss (or client, or senior team member) can be a bit intimidating or awkward.
Let’s dive into why these lunches matter and how to make the most of them.
Why Lunch Matters in Your Career
Lunch isn’t just about food. It's about social-professional interaction. It’s a chance for you to connect with people in a way that office meetings and emails don’t allow. When you’re at a lunch table, the setting is more relaxed, and people are more likely to open up. That’s when they’ll share experiences, career advice, or even tips about the work culture that you wouldn’t get in a formal meeting. These informal conversations are often the moments that lead to opportunities, promotions, or a mentorship that can shape your career trajectory.
While your technical expertise will always be important, it’s often these personal interactions — the ones that take place outside of the office — that elevate you in your role. They allow you to stand out as someone who is engaged, personable, and ready to go beyond the basics.
The Post-COVID Shift: What’s Missing Now
The pandemic has undeniably changed how we work, and for many younger professionals, this shift has had an impact on the skills needed for in-person interactions. Many of you, particularly if you started your career during or after the pandemic, may have missed out on the more informal socialization that used to happen naturally in the workplace.
I’ve noticed that new professionals tend to approach these lunches with either a too-casual attitude or a nervous, unsure energy. Some think it’s just an informal catch-up and fail to recognize the opportunity it presents to build a relationship with your supervisor or client. Others are anxious, unsure of what to talk about or how to behave, which can make these lunches feel awkward for everyone involved.
It’s important to remember that these are learnable skills. With a little preparation and the right mindset, you can make these lunches a strategic part of your professional development.
Different Types of Lunches and How to Approach Them
Not all lunches are created equal. Understanding different contexts will help you tailor your approach.
Internal Team Lunches:
These lunches are often more relaxed and focused on bonding with your team. While they’re casual, don’t treat them like a free-for-all. Keep things light and fun, but remember that professionalism is still key. Use this time to connect with your colleagues on a personal level without venting about work frustrations or engaging in gossip. Think of it as a chance to build camaraderie while showing respect for the team dynamic.
Client Lunches:
Client lunches are often more formal, and they offer a chance to make a great impression. You’re not just representing yourself — you’re representing your firm. Pay attention to how you present yourself: dress appropriately, stay engaged, and be respectful. These lunches might start with small talk, but don’t hesitate to bring up industry trends or ask thoughtful questions related to the client’s business. The goal is to show that you care about their success, not just about the business you’re doing with them.
Lunch with Firm Leadership:
When you're invited to lunch with firm leadership, this is your moment to shine. They’re giving you their time, and it’s a great opportunity to discuss specific ideas, ask about the firm’s vision, or seek career advice. Be prepared — think about your questions, offer insights when appropriate, and take the chance to get a deeper understanding of the firm’s direction. These lunches are more than just a meal; they’re a rare moment to form a relationship with someone who can have a big influence on your career.
How to Handle the Invite (or Make One Yourself)
Being invited to lunch is a great sign that someone sees potential in you. If you get an invite, don’t hesitate — say yes! It’s an opportunity to connect, and you never know where it might lead. Be gracious, attentive, and ready to engage.
If you're waiting for an invitation, don’t be afraid to take the initiative. Start small by asking someone you work closely with (perhaps a manager or senior team member) to grab coffee or lunch. It’s not about forcing relationships, but about being proactive and showing that you’re eager to learn and connect.
Conversation Tips for Lunch
What do you talk about during lunch? First, focus on being a good listener. People love to talk about themselves, their experiences, and their interests — so don’t feel like you need to be the one doing all the talking. Ask open-ended questions that show genuine curiosity. Here are a few conversation topics that work well:
Career advice: “What’s been the most rewarding part of your career so far?”
Industry trends: “I’ve been reading about [X trend] in the industry. How do you think it’ll affect our work?”
Shared interests: “I noticed you’re into [hobby or activity] — I’ve been wanting to try that. Any tips?”
Avoid controversial topics like politics or money, and steer clear of gossip or anything too personal.
Final Thought: Practice Makes Progress
Remember, you’re not expected to be perfect at these lunches. The goal is to show up, be curious, and practice. You may not have every conversation go flawlessly, but over time, you’ll get more comfortable and confident in these settings. You’ll build relationships that help your career, your personal growth, and your understanding of the professional world.
So next time your boss or a client suggests grabbing lunch, take a deep breath, say yes, and enjoy the chance to connect — both professionally and personally.